Happy Thursday, friends.
A few things to brighten your day or inspire you. Continue reading “Thursday Pick-Me-Up (a.k.a. Dogs With Eyebrows)”
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3 Ways to be an Ally to a Bisexual Person
“You’re just confused. Make up your mind!”
“You’re going through a phase. You’re on your way to being lesbian/gay.”
“You can’t be happy with me, you’ll cheat on me with a man/woman.”
“You’re only saying you’re bisexual to appear cool.”
Have you heard these comments before? These are statements some bisexual people may hear from both straight people or gay people. These are examples of biphobia, discriminatory and/or derogatory remarks, attitudes, or actions toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a group. Biphobia can be seen in overt discrimination or seemingly harmless jokes or statements. Continue reading “3 Ways to be an Ally to a Bisexual Person”
How Finding a Therapist Can Feel Like Dating*
*Disclaimer: I want to emphasis that any kind of romantic relationship and/or sexual contact between a therapist and client is unethical, illegal and should be reported to the Grievance Board of the state the therapist practices in, if any misconduct occurs. I draw the parallel between dating and finding a therapist to bring some humor and levity to the sometimes frustrating task of finding a therapist.
***
Finding a good therapist, like finding a romantic partner, is not always easy.
However, in both cases, finding ‘the right one’ has a huge pay off when it comes to your overall sanity and well-being.
Surprisingly, there are many similarities between the initial stages of dating and finding a good therapist. If you have ever gone through the modern dating process in the United States, you may already have some of the skills needed to find a good therapist. (See, all those tedious coffee dates with strangers really did benefit your mental health!) Continue reading “How Finding a Therapist Can Feel Like Dating*”
8 Body Positive Blogs You Should Read Right Now
I was having coffee with a friend the other day and the conversation turned to the struggle of body shaming (by others and ourselves) and body acceptance. We talked about the difficulty of loving our bodies in a culture where we are continually bombarded with messages from media, magazines, and movies that tell us our bodies are not acceptable unless they fit in the narrow definition of beauty.
Sign outside The Coffee Tree in Loveland, CO.
After this conversation with my friend, the topic continued swirling around in my head as I was writing my to-do list for the following day. Among the many chores listed (which, let’s be honest, I only completed half), I wrote down the single task: “Read Body Positive Blogs.” Continue reading “8 Body Positive Blogs You Should Read Right Now”
A Manifesto for Difficult Days
We all need a manifesto – a public declaration – of how we intend to navigate the trials of life ahead of us. When we are faced with challenge, and we find ourself slipping into harmful patterns of thinking or behaviors, this is the time to remind ourselves of our goals and commitment to our healing, recovery, core beliefs or whatever guides our life.
I wrote the manifesto below as I was faced with some challenges this week and needed to be able to repeat something to myself as a reminder of my strength and commitment to doing only good in this world, even when I felt angry, afraid, or ashamed. Once I wrote it, I shared it with those close to me to help affirm my commitment to do so. I share it here hoping it may provide comfort and courage to those who may be facing difficulties, too. Continue reading “A Manifesto for Difficult Days”
Monday Musings: Unexpected Kindness
Mondays are my long days. I usually log about 11 to 12 hours. At the end of today I was tired but needed to stop at the store because I could no longer subsist on sriracha and sweet potatoes.
Like most people, I dread grocery shopping. I avoid it to the extent I make it a challenge to use the remaining eggs, lentils, and cashews in my kitchen to create edible meals for days.
Truth be told, there are stubborn qualities about me which probably contribute to my loathing of grocery stores. I’m fairly certain I have a pathological aversion to shopping carts. No matter how long my list, I insist upon using a hand-held basket to carry all my goodies. I fill my basket until it is so heavy I have to rest it on one hip, like women may do with small infants, to keep it upright. Fellow customers give me confused looks as I walk stiff-legged through the store, my basket growing more unwieldy with each aisle I traverse. Continue reading “Monday Musings: Unexpected Kindness”
The User Manual You’ll Actually Read (and 6 Questions to Help You Write Your Own)
It seems that every single appliance we acquire comes with some kind of instruction manual. I would hypothesize that about 97% of these documents are not read and then relegated to a corner of a broom closet or junk drawer. (With this thought, I imagine an alternate universe filled with user manuals for blenders, vacuums, and curling irons, much like the other-dimensional world in Netflix’s “Stranger Things”.)
What if you had a user manual that you actually read?
One that was about:
- Your mental and physical health
- Your maintenance schedule
- What kept you operating in peak condition
- Instructions and trouble shooting for what to do when you started to sputter and stall
Continue reading “The User Manual You’ll Actually Read (and 6 Questions to Help You Write Your Own)”
Minimalism & Mental Health: My Recommended Reading List If You Want To Do More Than Just Declutter Your Closet
If you are living in the United States and have access to the Internet, you have probably heard about minimalism. (If not, go ahead and Google it. I’ll be here when you get back.)
Minimalism is about focusing on what really matters in your life – the essentials – and taking steps toward prioritizing those things, people, or activities. It does not mean giving up all your possessions and becoming a wandering ascetic. (Although, if that’s your thing, that’s ok, too.) Sometimes I like to use the word “essentialism” instead of minimalism, because I believe that it can capture the concept a bit better. Continue reading “Minimalism & Mental Health: My Recommended Reading List If You Want To Do More Than Just Declutter Your Closet”
The Journey
2017 is right around the corner. It’s so easy to get caught up in day-to-day worries – especially with the holiday madness – that we forget to acknowledge how far we have come on our journey in the past year.
So, I invite you to find some quiet time today (or even just a bit quieter than your normal day) to just sit and reflect on the past year.
What was life like for you 1 year ago? 5 years ago? How have you grown? How has your view of yourself or your life shifted? Continue reading “The Journey”
How I Survive (And Even Enjoy) The Holidays as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
If you aren’t familiar with the term “Highly Sensitive Person”, it refers to about 20% of the population that possess a unique sensory processing trait that allows them to pick up more on subtleties in the environment, resulting in deeper processing and often being easily overwhelmed with stimuli. (To learn more, you can visit this website: www.hsperson.com).
Does anyone else feel like the world suddenly gets put into fast forward when the holidays start to come around? Come mid-November, I feel I am given a tremendous to-do list of holiday duties that are not even important to me.
1. Take advantage of Black Friday deals. 2. Find an ugly Christmas Sweater. 3. Watch ‘Love, Actually’ for the 30th time. 4. Learn how to make pumpkin rolls. 5. Realize that it’s now December and it’s too late to make pumpkin rolls. 6. Instead decide to learn how to make peppermint bark. 7. Get sucked into a Netflix abyss and spend the evening eating candy canes on the couch.
And it goes on.
While I have developed many ways to cope with overwhelm in most circumstances, the holidays can be a time that I run myself ragged. I find myself inundated with unrealistic expectations of myself and my time.
Not anymore, my friends. Here is how I have started to survive and enjoy (yes, actually enjoy) the holidays as an HSP. And you can, too. Continue reading “How I Survive (And Even Enjoy) The Holidays as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)”
Arianna Smith, LPC, IFS Certified Therapist 