It did happen. It is valid. It was abuse. It was real.
If you have gone through sexual abuse, domestic violence, or any other type of trauma, you may feel invisible and hopeless.
If you are part of the LGBTQ community…you feel even more alone, confused, and isolated.
If you experienced domestic violence or sexual abuse, this might have crossed your mind:
- I can’t tell anyone – they will think I’m lying. They will say “how could abuse happen between two women?”
- I can’t tell people I was sexually abused as a child. They will say that’s why I’m gay/bi/queer/trans.
- Straight/Cis people don’t get it. Who could understand my partner/abuser threatening to out me or misgender me as a way to control me?
- If I told my family I needed help, they would say I’m being abused because my relationship, sexuality, or gender is ‘unnatural’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘a phase’.
So you didn’t tell anyone.
Others have been through worse.
They only hit me once.
It’s in the past. I should be over it by now.
Yet…you can’t stop thinking about what happened to you.
Your identity, sexuality, and gender may be intertwined with your trauma, but who you are is so much more than what’s happened to you.
You can learn to let go of your pain and abuse so that you can step even more confidently into who you are, love yourself and others fully, and not be afraid of being close to others.